Part 3 Smallholder Sid and the Deluge
Sid finds that escaping Koi and a German neighbour are not a good combination
Continuing with the life of the Norfolk (England) trio of Smallholder Sid, Allotment Holder Alice and Farmer Fred, their encounters in the Cowpat & Fly pub and their consumption of that well known local brew - Old Fart.
Allotment holder Alice and Farmer Fred were well into their second pint of Old Fart in the snug of the Cowpat and Fly public house. Fred looked at his watch. Already Smallholder Sid was an hour late. That did not trouble Alice and Fred. A romance of a sort was developing between them. That might be a slight exaggeration. Fred had been developing romantic ideas ever since he drove Alice and her broken bicycle home in his old pickup and found himself in somewhat intimate contact with her after going over a large bump in the road.
All the same Alice (who generally had thoughts of nothing more romantic than the size of her courgettes or the plumpness of her Brussels sprouts) seemed to be enjoying his company.
“I wonder what Sid is up to now” said Alice dreamily (she was thinking of a strangely shaped potato as she looked at Fred’s head)
“Dunno” came the reply. Fred thought Alice reminded him of a sugar beet. “He’s certainly up to something. Looks like he has been building some kind of pond or lake. He’s been very busy with his ancient JCB. Do you think he is building a swimming pool for him and Gladys to enjoy?”
“Doubt it. I don’t think that couple knows the meaning of fun. More like it is another of his ’ventures’” murmured Alice, thinking of parsnips.
And right on cue Sid burst into the snug soaked to the skin and smelling strongly of fish. He did not look happy. In fact he looked so miserable that Fred bought him a pint of Old Fart (even though he well knew that Sid would never return the compliment).
Sid sat down, pulled out his pipe, looked at it and started to point at nothing in particular
“Well you see it was like this” moaned Sid. “I’d seen all these places that sell outsized goldfish for a fortune and I thought I would try my hand at breeding them. They’re called Koi.
“So that’s what you have been up to,” murmured Fred. “We did wonder. We thought you might be making a swimming pool for you and Gladys.”
“Gladys won’t go near water,” retorted Sid. “Anyway I wouldn’t waste…” (his voice died away at that point and he came back to the subject in hand)
“Even quite small Koi sell for more than £25 and it didn’t seem difficult to breed fish. You just put them in some water, feed them and let them get on with it. I was beginning to count my chickens…..”
“I thought you said you were breeding goldfish…..” interrupted Alice (by this time Fred was beginning to nod off. He had a happy lopsided smile on his face).
“It’s a saying” resumed Sid sourly – he was not in the mood to be teased “Anyway it’s Koi goldfish. You can’t charge much for a goldfish but call it a Koi and you are motoring. I thought I was in for a small fortune. The fish were doing well. In fact they seemed to be as frisky with each other as you and old Fred over there: they were producing plenty of youngsters.”
Alice thought briefly of a beetroot and tried to imitate one by turning bright red.
“Anyways this evening the side of the pond suddenly split open and hundreds of gallons of water have now poured onto Greenhouse Gretchen’s land.
Fred and Alice knew about Greenhouse Gretchen. Even though she had lived in Norfolk for years she still spoke in a strong Bavarian accent. She had a reputation for being challenging. She had a small amount of land which was almost completely taken up with a huge poly tunnel in which she grew large quantities of carnivorous plants which she sold to “London types”.
Sid continued: “She is threatening to sue me, and she wouldn’t even let me try to rescue my poor fish.”
“Perhaps the fish were being too frisky and they burst the pond by themselves” suggested Alice.
“Not funny” grumbled Sid. “Now what do I do?”
For once Alice and Fred felt sorry for Sid. “C’mon” she tugged at Fred’s coat. “Let’s see what we can do. Pop my bike in your pick up and we’ll go over to Sid’s and rescue his fish.”
Many were still alive and were flapping around in little pools of water in Gretchen’s garden. Some had found their way into the poly tunnel. She was none too pleased.
“If you vant your fish back you vill haf to pay me £500 for ze right to come on my land and you vill also have to compensate me for ze damage you haf done. My Polytunnel iss flooded and My Venus Flytraps are traumatised. My Saracenia Wrigleyana are having nervous breakdowns and my Australian Pitcher Plants are demanding to be taken back to Sydney.”
But none of the gang of three was in any mood to do a deal with Gretchen and they waded in and continued to round up the Koi.
Gretchen, standing on the edge of her watery field was getting more and more agitated. “I’ll haf you arrested and thrown in gaol” she warned.
But they continued to scoop the fish into buckets and carry them to an old bath that Sid used to catch rainwater.
“Right” said Greenhouse Gladys. “That’s it I am calling ze police”.
And she did, but by then the last quivering Koi had been rounded up and returned to Sid’s new pond.
The three then beat a hasty retreat but they were unable to block out the loud threats from Gretchen that continued to be yelled for a long time afterwards.
The police did not show up, but several days later Sid received a letter from Gretchen’s solicitor threatening to take Sid to court unless he paid substantial compensation for the stress caused to the carnivorous plants – and to Gretchen.
Vaguely serious legal point.
The police did not come, because trespass by itself is not a criminal offence. It only becomes a crime if you commit “aggravated trespass”, like intimidating or obstructing people carrying out lawful activity on their land. Rescuing Koi would not amount to a crime.
However, in 1868 the House of Lords decided that if you bring onto your land and keep there anything which is likely to do mischief if it escapes you do so at your peril.
The case had many similarities to what Sid did. In that case the owners of the land owned a mill and created a reservoir. water from the reservoir percolated through disused mineshafts and spread to a working mine causing a lot of damage.
The House of Lords judge said:
“The Defendants, treating them as the owners or occupiers of the close on which the reservoir was constructed, might lawfully have used that close for any purpose for which it might in the ordinary course of the enjoyment of land be used; and if, in what I may term the natural user of that land, there had been any accumulation of water, either on the surface or underground, and if, by the operation of the laws of nature, that accumulation of water had passed off into the close occupied by the Plaintiff, the Plaintiff could not have complained that that result had taken place. If he had desired to guard himself against it, it would have lain upon him to have done so, by leaving, or by interposing, some barrier between his close and the close of the Defendants in order to have prevented that operation of the laws of nature…On the other hand if the Defendants, not stopping at the natural use of their close, had desired to use it for any purpose which I may term a non-natural use, for the purpose of introducing into the close that which in its natural condition was not in or upon it, for the purpose of introducing water either above or below ground in quantities and in a manner not the result of any work or operation on or under the land, - and if in consequence of their doing so, or in consequence of any imperfection in the mode of their doing so, the water came to escape and to pass off into the close of the Plaintiff, then it appears to me that that which the Defendants were doing they were doing at their own peril; and, if in the course of their doing it, the evil arose to which I have referred, the evil, namely, of the escape of the water and its passing away to the close of the Plaintiff and injuring the Plaintiff, then for the consequence of that, in my opinion, the Defendants would be liable.”
In short - if you allow something to escape that goes beyond what would naturally occur on the land you will be committing an act of nuisance and you will be responsible for the consequences.
Sid had brought thousands of gallons of water and several hundred koi onto his land and they escaped onto Gretchen’s land. Sid was therefore liable to compensate Gretchen for the damage done. If you ever talk to a solicitor (people do occasionally) ask her what she knows about the case of Rylands v Fletcher. You will find that her eyes light up, because this was the second most famous case under English law and I doubt if there is any solicitor in the country who has not heard of it – as Sid found out when he took advice. He was firmly told to pay Gretchen and not run up any more costs.
I wonder if Sid will ever fall foul of the most famous case under English law. Read these pages and you may one day find out.